This week is a BIG week for me… big, as in…I’m super busy!
My doctor wanted me to meet with several genetic counselors and doctors from Stanford to update my history and make sure I’m following the latest-greatest-testing schedule for my crazy situation. So… I thought, sure… I can squeeze in a quick 20-minute-video-call-from-home, check that off my list, and go on.
90 MINUTES LATER…
I was exhausted from retelling ALL the cancer history on both sides of my family along with my own medical history. We went through all kinds of possible scenarios with possible outcomes, trying to make the best possible decisions for me to stay well.
I spent the rest of the morning (what little was left!) preparing a message for the Let’s Track God Together group taking place this month. Sharing from Psalm 25:4-5, I was focusing on the phrase, “Show me YOUR WAYS…”
Last spring, I spent time praying this verse for a couple weeks, emphasizing different words. (You can read more about that here and here.) When focusing on “YOUR WAYS”, I took notes on anything I read in the Bible or a devotional that emphasized His ways, filling several pages in my journal.
One area that kept popping up was:
He sings over me.
Psalm 32:7 “… you SURROUND me with songs of deliverance.”
Zechariah 3:16-17 “… the Lord your God is in your midst… he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with LOUD SINGING.”
As I thought about this concept, I also thought… sometimes the song He sings over us is a song of suffering.
Yesterday as I talked through ALL the cancer stuff in my life, it was a reminder of the seasons of suffering I have walked through.
And though I wouldn’t have chosen any of this, there have been deep gifts in hard places.
Paul says it like this, “For he has graciously granted you the privilege not only of believing in Christ, but of suffering for him as well.” Philippians 1:29
Is he really saying that we have been given a gift of suffering??!
He also says in Colossians 1:24, “I am now rejoicing in my sufferings for your sake.”
How does that make you feel? Suffering is a gift to rejoice in?
It’s because of the loss and difficulties I’ve walked through that I’ve learned to look for and track God —with everything in me! And… I have SEEN Him at work in my life in an up close and personal way. He truly is my hope and the foundation of my faith.
Psalm 25:4-5 ends with the phrase, “My hope is in YOU all day long.”
As I hung up the video call yesterday, I took a moment to praise God for ALL that He has done in my life through the hard times. I thanked Him for the privilege of having compassionate doctors directing my care. I praised Him for another day to be alive and I wrote down this verse:
I WILL sing to the Lord as long as I live. I WILL praise God to my last breath. Ps 104:33 (TLB)