Chocolate cake did me in! . . . Initiated the steady decline into an all-out hormonal upheaval, which means . . . I battled depression all last week.
I simply cannot tolerate an overdose of sugar anymore.
My emotions go wonky.
My thoughts go, well . . . PSYCHO!
Sugar is my slippery slope to despair.
I know this, yet . . . chocolate cake happened. And not just one time with one cake. For some reason, it kept being offered to me in different settings throughout the week.
It takes me days to recover. The struggle is REAL!
To feel good, I MUST consistently choose good things for myself.
- Exercise 4 or more times a week
- LIMIT sugar and carbs
- Spend time in God’s Word daily
- And… as strange as it might sound… de-clutter and/or organize something. (strange, I know. But, possibly you can relate.)
The physical act of dealing with my junk, triggers a mindset reboot for me: a letting-go of junk I’m clinging to.
I’ve been slowly going through my closet this past year. I was able to get it looking very organized, but still hadn’t completely dealt with all my clothes. Eight months ago, I turned every hanger backwards to see what items I was actually wearing. It would stay hanging from the backside of the closet rod until I wore it. Once the piece was worn, it earned the right to remain in my closet, hanging properly. It’s a pretty good system, quickly revealing what is being utilized. And I gave this system a good amount of time, basically hitting all four seasons.
More than a third of my clothes remained untouched for the past eight months. That’s a lot! Not only that, most had not been worn for years . . . just taking up space and representing my inability to make a decision!
I’m storing unwanted stuff!
Which brings me back to chocolate cake; I’m eating unwanted stuff!
In other words . . . I have to deal with my stuff!! . . . again!
With the recent loss of my dad, I KNOW my energy and emotions have taken a pretty big hit. Grief seems to sneak up on me when I least expect it, cycling in and out of my life. Sometimes I can go days feeling fine, and then something grabs my attention, signaling the new, empty place in my heart. I embrace those times, however, taking them as opportunities to reflect on life with my dad. But… this is all the more reason to STAY IN THE GAME. Don’t trade good choices for cheap fillers.
Cake, closets, and grief. The connection for me right now is real, and I hope I can encourage you to stay the course.
“Though we experience every kind of pressure, we’re not crushed. At times we don’t know what to do, but quitting is not an option.” (Nor is over-eating chocolate cake!)
2 Corinthians 4:8 (The Passion Translation)
Sooo good Lori!! I love how you just continue to be really vulnerable! It’s a game changer for everyone who reads your blog! YOURE THE REAL DEAL!! I’m so happy and proud to call you my cake loving friend! ?
You definitely are my favorite cake-loving-friend! ??
Lori! I’m so thankful you wrote about this. I’ve struggled with this reality since my 20’s. It’s so very real to me. It can hurt my relationships, ruin my witness for Jesus, and just basically mess me up for a few days. The more we speak up about issues that derail us, the more others can see where maybe they slip too. It also inspires us to be real, authentic, and vulnerable.
God is using your writing to encourage us. Please keep writing and sharing!
It’s amazing how many people can relate! I appreciate your influence in this area. After all, no-one can eat a chocolate chip cookie quite like you.?… or should I say… pick the chocolate chips OUT of a cookie quite like you. ?
You’re the best and your life stories speak volumes!! ?
I should tell you my healing from compulsive overeating story. I so relate to what you’ve written
Carol,
I would be very interested in hearing your story. The struggle is real!
Yes. Keep writing. I’m trying to declutter – I’m paying for mine. I go to clean out and memories come flooding. My grief is for my marriage 33 years. My ex (he’s 70) its only been 3 years-traded his family for a 24-year old. We lost our house. I quickly moved some things into a storage unit. I hear t thinking I’d have a wee house or apartment, but it has not happened. I’m in a studio.
How do you deal with the memories. I’m not looking for pity. I’m doing well. I just know I need to declutter. So please keep writing. I’m getting inspired.
Sharon,
Your story is heartbreaking and I’m so sorry to hear of all you are dealing with. Blessings to you on this very hard journey. ?