Can I be real?
I’ve lost all decluttering motivation. I exceled in January and even made it through February when so many others bailed on their goals.
March undid me. The challenges were, well… CHALLENGING, and my energy, emotions, time, perspective were all de-railed. I fell off the decluttering bandwagon with a tremendous THUD. And thud is actually an excellent word for it because I probably added a few pounds with all the emotional eating going on!
Three major things happened within a few days, and they left me reeling. My last post mentioned my friend’s medical emergency. This friend, Wendy, is my workout buddy, accountability partner and all around good friend. She had a mass on her ovary rupture, and because of the delay in getting the appropriate medical help, (not on her part) she was full of infection and VERY, VERY SICK! I’m talking… major surgery and an eight day stay in the hospital! Following surgery, she had a tube down her nose that was disgusting! (Sorry, Wendy! Telling all your business.) It was bringing out the infection in her body. Toxic sludge is what I call it. Super gross!
While all this was happening, my son was going through his own spiritual surgery so to speak, and God was bringing up some toxic sludge in his life. And… thirdly, I faced a personal disappointment that just plain got to me.
Here’s what a lapse looks like for me. Perhaps you can relate:
- I stopped setting aside specific times to declutter.
- I went from exercising 4 times a week to only 2.
- I quit using my app to track what I was eating.
- Stopped planning meals with lots of vegetables.
- Started drinking diet soda again (talk about toxic sludge!)
- Sleep was restless making it hard to get up in the morning.
- Spent TOO MUCH time aimlessly scrolling on my phone.
- Inconsistent with morning devotions.
- Stopped reading the stack of books I’ve planned to read this season.
- Stopped blogging.
I’m depressed just typing that list!
I know you’ve been there too— thrown off track by the hard things of life.
How do we stay the course when life hits us hard? How do we stay free from our own toxic sludge settling in?
For me, I determined to get back on track. Mind over matter! Right choices even though I didn’t feel like it. I’m FIGHTING to stay the course:
- Back to Weight Watchers (Someday soon, I will talk more about that journey. What a battle!)
- Back to exercising
- Must eat vegetables (My mind does not function right without good nutrition)
- You get the idea!
And… while I felt like a complete failure, it really was just a lapse—possibly a relapse— but definitely not a collapse. That’s Weight Watcher talk from the last meeting I attended. How timely was THAT?!
In the midst of a super difficult period of time, Eddie and I emptied out a storage area full of files and paperwork. We shredded and recycled several large boxes of paper over 7 years old. That’s HUGE! We also helped Cory organize his room (no small feat) and Eddie texted me recently, saying he was doing some deep cleaning at home. Music to my ears!!
A lapse. Not a collapse. We are forming new habits and they are sticking!
I’d love to hear how you are doing. How do you keep a lapse from turning into a complete collapse?
And have you started decluttering any storage areas, files or paper? Let me know!
THIS IS SO GOOD!!!! THIS is why we are such good friends! Lol! Seriously! We have literally walked through each others “lapses” over and over. Sometimes lapseing (is that a word?) at the same time!!! I don’t care, share as much of my toxic journey as you want. At this point my whole life is an open book for anyone ha! I cannot wait to be back to our regularly scheduled classes and routine, but it’s amazing to read how you have literally picked yourself up and are moving on!!!! No more falling back, falling forward!!
I love you so much and I am beyond thankful for your unconditional friendship that has literally stood the test of time and a whole lot of surgeries and inconveniences! Lol!!! Thanks for blogging! You always encourage all of us readers!! ❤️
Wendy!! Thanks for commenting?. Yes… we have walked through SO many “lapses” together. Thank you for being a special person in my life who encourages me not to collapse, but keep on going. I’m so sorry you’ve had such a rough month of March. You’re amazing and you will get past this and be stronger than ever. I love you!!
Wow, just wow! I haven’t read your blog for a long time. Tonight God led me to you! I needed your words! Love and miss you my friend!
I’m so thankful you were encouraged by me.?? That is always my goal! You are an inspiration, Polly, in the way you love your family and bless our community. And… Happy Birthday!! I love and miss you too!?