The waiting was getting to me, so I decided to make the phone call. I’d been waiting all week to hear test results from my doctor.

Now, you might be thinking this is related to cancer, but, nooooo…



I woke up early last Monday with a high fever, chills, headache, was nauseous and had a slight sore throat. My doctor sent me to a drive-thru testing center that afternoon to have that HORRIBLE TEST for Covid-19.

It was a bit traumatizing!

By Tuesday, my fever was gone and my symptoms were a headache and extreme fatigue, which continued for DAYS!

Originally, my doctor said results were taking 2-7 days, so I made the call on Friday, only to be told that the results were not in and it could ACTUALLY take up to 10 days.

I feel like my life has been stalled as I not-so-patiently wait while battling headaches and fatigue.


So many of you have come to mind as I know some of the holding patterns you’ve been navigating this year— looking for a job, cancer treatments, friends hospitalized with the virus, relationship struggles, life changes because of Covid-19… etc.


Let’s pause here and insert my mantra: Life is hard AND God is incredible.

There’s absolutely no denying that life is very hard! And I hope beyond hope that you’ve experienced the goodness of God inside your hard journey.

Years ago, when it became clear that starting our family was going to require a lot of prayer and patience, Eddie began praying over me each day, starting with this phrase:

“Thank you for the baby you have for us.”

It was a powerful, simple, spark of hope!

It drove me crazy (like— he just doesn’t get it) AND it brought so much comfort.


It has continued to be a model of how to pray when life is hard and not working out as planned.

I’ve just finished reading Elisabeth Elliot’s book Suffering is Never for Nothing with the forward written by Joni Eareckson Tada. BOTH of those ladies have every right to speak on the subject of suffering. Elisabeth’s first husband was murdered and her second husband died of cancer. Joni has lived as a quadriplegic from a diving accident at the age of 17.

The chapter I underlined the most in was Chapter 4: Gratitude.

Some highlights—

It would not have been my choice, but knowing You love me, I will receive it and I understand that someday I’m going to understand the necessity for this thing.


Paul says that in everything we ought to give thanks. It’s not the experiences of our lives that change us. It is our response to those experiences.


Just start thanking God in advance because no matter what is about to happen, you already know that God is in charge. You are not adrift in a sea of chaos.

Friend, you are not adrift in a sea of chaos!

I’m so thankful for that!

How can you pray with gratitude in the midst of your suffering?

How will you ignite a spark of hope right where you are?

The gratitude will anchor you to the One who will meet you in your sea of chaos.

Look for God and begin tracking Him in your 2020 journey. He sees you.

Let me know how you’ll finish Eddie’s opening line, “Lord, thank you for ____________________.”

It took a while and a lot of creativity, but God met us and blessed us with three amazing kids… in His timing.