Perhaps you’re like me and have had moments of wondering where God is in the most difficult parts of life.

You want to believe that God is with you, personally, no matter what you’re going through.

But life can be a doozy—leaving you depleted and overwhelmed.

At the same time, you know that God really does show up in an intimate way.
It almost feels like a contradiction, and I’ve come to think of it this way:

Life is hard AND God is incredible.

 

Perhaps you’ve struggled to find the “incredible” part of the journey through challenging seasons. I get it. It’s not easy to focus on the goodness of God when life is falling apart around you.

Below is a devotional I wrote called “Unexplainable Pieces”. I hope it will be a blessing to you in whatever you are facing.

 

Unexplainable Pieces

 

“Your dad called and you’re needed at home immediately.”  

My heart sank as the principal took over my 6th grade classroom, allowing me to rush to my mom’s bedside. My precious mom was dying of cancer, but had rallied enough strength to gather us all to say her goodbyes.

It was tragic. It was beautiful.

 She spoke brief words of blessing over my dad, my brother, and me. We cried together and hugged each other tight. Within a few minutes, she closed her eyes and lapsed into a coma-like state. Throughout the next couple of days, her eyes would open and she would raise her arms toward the ceiling, repeating over and over, “Jesus. Jesus.” It was as if Jesus was right there, welcoming her to heaven. 

Again: it was tragic and beautiful.

Three days after our bedside goodbyes, she was gone. She was only 46, and I was only 22. I struggled with the unfairness of it all. We had believed and prayed like crazy that God would heal her. She was so young and had just stepped into a new phase of her life… walking in the freedom of forgiveness from childhood wounds. A tug of war waged inside of me with how to respond.

Why would God take her?

Why would he not choose healing and wholeness for such a fragile soul. She had already been through SO much!

 

As I wrestled with the grief of the overwhelming loss, I began reading in the book of Psalms. Every time I came across the phrase “unfailing love” I underlined it. It was my way of connecting my faith to a loving God; a way to tangibly remind myself that even though I didn’t understand it all, God’s love never fails.

James 4:8 says it this way: ‘Move your heart closer and closer to God, and he will come even closer to you.’

That was my step of faith: choosing to move closer to God while releasing my demand for answers. I chose to trust him with this unexplainable piece of my life, and rely on him to renew my hope.

Psalm 139 was my mom’s favorite passage in the Bible. Although it doesn’t use the exact phrase unfailing love, it truly paints a picture of how much we are loved by God. I think this meant so much to my mom because she never had a stable home life as a child, where she felt safe and secure.

 

As you read the verses below, be reminded that God knows you, understands you, and will never leave you.  

Psalm 139: 3-6

(The Passion Translation)

 

3–4 You are so intimately aware of me, Lord.

You read my heart like an open book

and you know all the words I’m about to speak

before I even start a sentence!

You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.

5 You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way,

and in kindness you follow behind me

to spare me from the harm of my past.

With your hand of love upon my life,

you impart a blessing to me.

6 This is just too wonderful, deep, and incomprehensible!

Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.

 

 

Here’s a link to a beautiful PDF of these verses for you to download and print: Psalm 139:3-6

 

 

Keep moving closer to God during difficult times. He’s there and is so intimately aware of YOU.