Our meeting was coming to an end and I felt very strongly that I should read the scripture passage of Psalm 139 to the ladies gathered around the table. These verses have always meant so much to me because they were my mom’s absolute favorites. The whole Psalm describes how God knows EVERYTHING about us and created EVERY detail of who we are.
My mom had a ROUGH childhood of neglect and abuse with parents who had many addictions. She would tell the story of being seven years old and taken to the bars on lower Main Street with them. There, she would sit on the floor next to her parents as they gambled and drank. Around midnight they would put her in a taxi and send her home. The house would be pitch black as she entered and she would have to grope in the darkness to find the chain hanging down for the light. She would tell of not being able to find the light chain and just sitting in the first chair she bumped in to, waiting for her parents to arrive hours later. She would sit there shivering from the cold and fear, too afraid to get up to find a bathroom and many nights wet herself.
7 years old!
As I’m writing this and reading over Psalm 139, verse 12 makes me cry as I picture her life and how these words must have ministered to her:
Psalm 139:12 “even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”
As I closed the evening in prayer for the ladies in my group, I prayed verse 14 over them, which says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I must have repeated that phrase five or more times in my prayer, probably trying to remind myself more than anyone else.
That evening at home, my daughter, Jessica, was struggling with a lot of emotions. She has recently graduated from a performing arts college and is in that very difficult time of transition. Big dreams, little money. It’s that “when-do-I-take-the-leap-of-faith” vs “be-super-practical” time of life. Exciting and TERRIFYING. We talked for about an hour and then I began reminding her of who she is in Christ. There is SO much I could say right here, but I’ll sum it up with this:
Jess is a gift, an OVER THE TOP miracle that came when I completely surrendered my plans for a family to God.
As we finished talking, I began to pray for her and again found myself repeating the phrase, “Fearfully and wonderfully made.” We cried together and affirmed our faith in God for BOTH of our situations.
As I walked out of her room, I noticed I had a text message. Someone very close to me had sent it in response to me asking for prayer for my unfolding medical stuff. The text simply read,
“You are fearfully and wonderfully made.”
It was God’s word to my mom.
It’s His declaration to Jess.
And it’s His message to me.
Psalm 139:13-14 “For you created my inmost being: you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”