“I love you. I miss you.” The hour-long conversation ends, and the pain overwhelms me. The small talk was wonderful, but the void still exists. With the phone still in my hand mocking my futile attempts to find peace, I weep. I miss her. I love her. I need her.
A chasm was created as surprising events came to light. Decisions by another, held fall-out ramifications for us. Our friendship was altered by circumstances we played no part in.
I text to her my anguish. She quickly responds. Within minutes we are back on the phone, crying, fighting to hang on to each other. The deep feelings pour out and the heartfelt connection is instantly there.
Many have said the friendship will never be the same… move on. But how does one move on, leaving their heart behind? It’s an unacceptable option.
My emotions are raw with pain. There is no easy fix. This unanticipated journey requires a depth of faith I don’t seem to possess.
God is my only hope. “Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope… faithful in prayer.”
There’s nothing I can say to alter this course.
God is my counselor. John 14:26 “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything.”
The path is foreign to me. Completely unmarked.
He is my Shepherd. Psalm 119:105 “Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.”
I’m not even sure how this can resolve or if it is possible.
He knows my future. Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you…”
The sadness is a tangible, physical ache – always present in my being.
His joy is my strength. Isaiah 61:1-3 “He has sent me… to bestow on them a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”
My heart yields to the head knowledge of who God is.
As His character traits are rehearsed in my mind, peace is allowed to descend upon my soul.
He is there. He cares. I am not alone.
Oh Lori. My heart was stirred by your writing today. Thank you for sharing your heart and your vulnerability. Sending love from Hawaii…..praying for comfort and peace.
Thanks Jessica! It will all work out. It just has to! Hope you’re doing great!
Love you much, Lori.
Thanks so much for reading, Cid! Much love to you!!!
Hi there, I discovered your blog on http://lorimargo.
wordpress.com/2012/08/30/friend/ while searching for a corresponding topic, your website
came up, it seems great. I’ve saved it in my google book marks.