It was the day I was to receive news on my latest catscan. Everything was expected to be just fine. There really should not be any surprises. So why was I having anxiety as I drove toward my destination?
The enemy of my soul was working overtime to disrupt my peace. Thoughts were swirling about the car and I was losing my positive outlook. Satan was taunting me with, “You might have made it though this, but you still haven’t beaten breast cancer.” There it was. The source of all my mental anguish.
Almost a year ago a friend had spoken prophetically into my life. I can picture the exact spot where we were standing. I had just updated her on what was coming down the pike for me in regards to cancer treatment. She looked me in the eye, boldly declaring, “This is not about the disease. It’s about pulling out the root of fear from your life. God wants to do a complete work in you, setting you free from fear.” Politely I smiled at her, somewhat accepting her words. It wasn’t like it resonated in me that I needed this coming deliverance.
I really have done quite well in the way I have viewed my medical crisis. The quote, “It’s a win-win,” has been repeated by me numerous times. The issue has been resolved in my mind that I can trust God. If He heals me and gives me many more years on this earth- that’s wonderful. If He calls me home to an eternity of no sorrow or pain with my Heavenly Father, hallelujah, what joy! It’s a win-win! God is my hope whether I live or die.
The fact that Satan was bringing up breast cancer was a desperate attempt to punch holes in the victory I had been walking in. Losing my mom to that disease was one of the hardest things I have been through in life. The evil one knew it was a point of vulnerability. It was a low-blow.
As I recognized the harassment for what it was, I also realized God had done an extraordinary work in my heart. My friend’s words had come full circle. I was having one of those “a-ha” moments. Cancer has been so prevalent in my family, claiming many lives, that there has been this underlying sense of doom… -not if I’ll get it, but when will I get it. That alone is an incorrect way to think and live. But, here I was having faced the disease head on, full of joy, completely at peace. Fear had been defeated.
Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me.”
Good news did await me as I met with one of my doctors. It was as if a point was scored for the good guys. God and Lori – one. Satan – zero. Victory is mine no matter what comes around the next corner. The devil is defeated and he knows it. In other words… he’s a loser and I win!
( event took place January 2009)