“I told you,” my doctor was exclaiming as he wagged his finger in my face. I wasn’t sure if this was going to be a scolding or an encouragement. “I told you, you would look great without hair.” A grateful smile was appearing on my face. “You have one of those looks that can really pull it off,” he continued. He went on to say how amazingly beautiful the bald Sigourney Weaver was in “Aliens,” and told me I look that incredible.
Well. Talk about an immediate boost to my waning self-esteem! I wanted to hug and thank my doctor. He had impacted my life immensely in just a few short statements.
Simply put, I miss my hair. Many days I have to gear up before leaving the house, a sort of pep talk thing. I repeat phrases such as, “You can do this. You look fine. Most people aren’t even noticing.” It’s the anticipation of what might be said or what looks will be given. If I let my mind go there, I can end up defeated. Usually, once I get in a social setting, I’m fine. People are very sensitive and kind. In fact, I feel most comfortable when asked about my bald head, rather than the “elephant in the room” type of thing happening.
The whole wig idea just didn’t work for me. For some reason, with my personality, it felt as if I was not being authentic, not to mention how uncomfortable I felt with it on. Scarves also did not go over very well. I could not fold and tie them in any presentable way. My lack of spatial visual technique was completely evident with each attempt. So, instead of covering my head with a beautiful wig or scarf, I chose to wear hats.
It has been a great lesson in finding out what I am made of. More than ever, my security has to be in Jesus. My confidence has to come from who I am in Christ, rather than if my outward appearance is acceptable to the world. I am a child of the King, loved by God and filled with the Holy Spirit.
I Peter 2:9-10 states clearly who we are. It says, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.”
That is who I am, with or without hair!
Verse 11 goes on to call God’s people, “strangers and… aliens.” I guess Sigourney and I have more in common than just our bald heads.