(written last year as I had finished 4 surgeries and was not starting the treatment phase)

I could feel the excitement growing.  It was just moments before the house would be still with all family members gone.  As they drove off, I instantly had tears in my eyes, greatly anticipating the quiet connection with my best friend.  I was depleted and in need of Jesus.

I find myself longing to withdraw from people.  In many ways I am barely coping.  Eddie asked me why I was so snappy.  "It's a snappy time of life," I responded.  I'm in week four of external radiation and the side effects are starting to get to me.  The constant fatigue and discomfort is very wearing.  So, Wednesday nights have become a favorite date night with my Savior while the family is at church.

As I read my Bible and pray, my faith is beginning to resurface.  Psalms 16:11b says, "…You will fill me with joy in your presence."  When I began this medical path about a year ago, God was teaching me it was time to grow the fruit of the spirit, joy, in my life.  A key point I learned last summer was that joy equals strength.  The verse in Psalms rewritten with that synonym would say, "You will fill me with STRENGTH in your presence."   That's the key!  Being in the presence of God brings strength.  Psalms 18:1 "I love you, O Lord, my strength," … my joy.

God is my strength, my joy.  I desperately need Him.  Life is hard right now AND (not, … but) AND God is incredible.  He is there, ready to meet with me, with you, with all of us- as we carve out that special alone time with Him.  What are you waiting for?  Snap to it.

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