(…a bit more…)
Part of my cancer treatment included three sessions of internal radiation. I didn't know this even existed, this abnormal process of trying to kill off microscopic cancer cells near the tumor site. It had to be a group of mad scientists who came up with such a thing!
As I arrived at Stanford for the first treatment, fear was again accompanying me every step of the way. I was to change into a hospital gown and then the nurse would begin medicating me. The idea was to find a balance between pain meds and tranquilizers.
The morphine slowly began to take effect and the procedure was started. Because the type of cancer I had was uterine, you can imagine where tubes, cylinders and markers were being inserted. Several x-rays were then taken and all medical personnel disappeared for an hour and a half to run calculations…making a treatment plan. My part was to now lie perfectly still and wait.
Eddie came in to chat and help the time move along quickly. About a half an hour into the waiting, my pain became unbearable. Tears were beginning to flow. Ed called for the nurse. I was given more morphine. The nausea and pressure subsided a bit as the entourage of doctors returned. They had a plan and began moving equipment into place for this next phase.
"Let's get cookin'," came flying out of the new resident's mouth as the whole room stared at him in horror. It was not the appropriate signal to give just before administering radiation. The room cleared out. Everyone, but me, left…standing behind a thick, massive wall- safely protected from the particles that were about to fill the room.
The actual treatment took only about 15 minutes. In my altered state i prayed as best I could for complete healing. Though everyone had so carefully left and shielded themselves from the nuclear matter, I knew I wasn't really alone. I found myself again relating to Joseph in the book of Genesis. Even though he was unfairly imprisoned, chapter 39 repeatedly states that God was with him (verses 21,23). God was with me and I confidently knew it. He would not leave me now.
The physicist was the first to slowly re-enter the room, armed with a geiger counter "gun." I assumed it was telling him if all was clear- no stray particles floating around. My mind resorted to the familiar phrase, "This cannot be good for a person."
He gave the thumbs up signal. Doctors and nurses came flooding back in. It was done. I had made it through session number one. Thank you, Lord, for choosing to stay by my side even when all others had fled. You truly will never leave me nor forsake me. I love you so much and pray that I will be as loyal to you as you are to me.
2 Timothy 2:13 "He will remain faithful- even if we are faithless."
Wow, what powerful words! "You had chosen to stay by my side when all others had fled." Great picture of what you ahd to go through. Can hardly believe that you have endured! What a blessing you are!
Ahhh Residents..He will learn.HOW did YOU not flee?!!! You are unbelievable in your recall of scripture in these times Lori..Thank you for sharing your amazing journey…Laurie
Well your last sentence brought the tears…may that be true of all of us who proclaim Him. Reading your journey continues to amaze me. You attitude and outlook are truly filled with His presence. One thing is clear…Your light is shining for the world to see and bringing Him glory!
So glad you are following my blog, Rhonda It means the world. I write these and always sit there, teary-eyed, saying my usual line of… "I've been through so much." Yet… at the time, it really was okay. God's grace is amazing.
The resident really was the nicest guy, but he blew that one! It was literally his first day on the job. I wanted to run, believe me. This was the one treatment that was non-negotiable. I would rather do chemo than this. Luckily I only had 3 sessions of it. Thanks for reading!!!!!
Ooooh, so glad I was able to get the tears… hahaha. Thanks for reading Daneva!! I love that you're following along. Blessings to you!!!
This was really good Lori! I love how when everyone had to leave the room because of radiation Jesus never left!! It gave me chills! I am so sorry for all u had to go through but you are a champ!! Love you!
Your experience made me think of Jesus and how he was bombarded with our sin and left utterly alone. No, He would never make you endure such a thing without being in you and you in Him. I am blessed to be reading about your trials and Christ's triumphs through them! Blessings ~ Carol ~
Wendy, I'm so glad it gave you "chills." I love that!! Thanks for reading!! What a great, interactive friend you are =).
Your comments are always so encouraging, Carol. Thanks for following along. It really means the world. Blessings to you =)