I'm not sure where the misunderstanding took place, but I thought I was home free as far as my health was concerned. The biopsy during surgery had come back clear, no cancer- everything looking good. So, when my Dr. called stating that he wanted to discuss the findings of my pathology report, I thought he was just going to re-iterate all the good news he had previously shared with Ed in the waiting room.
(a look back at my journey through cancer)
"There are pre-cancer cells in the uterus which need to be treated," he began saying. The familiar drop in my stomach and light-headed feeling was instantly there. This was the first day I felt completely healed, back to normal, a sense of freedom from all that had happened. Now, I was being thrust right back into medical turmoil.
As the doctor elaborated on the recent findings, it became clear that I would be heading back to surgery. I hung up the phone and tried to get my bearings. How had this been missed in the first biopsy? Why did God allow it to be missed? He could have easily had those pre-cancer cells pop up onto the microscope slides. It took about an hour of misery and questioning God before I came back to my senses and fell to my knees. I knew there would be no peace until I surrendered. Waving the white spiritual flag, I humbly thanked God for my current crisis. James 1:2-4 became my battle cry of surrender to my loving Heavenly Father.
"Consider it pure joy… whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be complete, not lacking anything."
To be complete in Christ, not lacking anything is what I desire. It is a privilege to be headed toward that goal this side of heaven.
"It's going to be good," is the quote God has laid upon my heart for this next surgery and spiritual season. I believe God has promised me the gift of joy as I continue to thank Him and trust Him.
It's going to be good because I know the One who is incredibly good. He's a personal friend of mine.
This is amazing, Lori!!! I LOVED the "white spiritual flag of surrender"!!!!!
SO grateful for you! I love hearing your words, "It's going to be good" ringing through my mind!
Your courage and faith are inspiring. As is your candor.Peace and strength to you, Lori.
Love it! 🙂
Take care. Hope you get some good news soon. That must have been a really tough day.
It was a tough day. I need to be more clear in my posts that I have made it through all this and I'm writing about what has taken place over the last year and a half. I did a lot of writing while going through everything, but I'm just now putting it on my blog. Thanks so much for reading and I'll work on communicating better the timeframe.
I don't know Lori… maybe because I'm so close to all of it but it seemed clear to me that this was what happened not what is happening… Anyway, it was a great post!!!! You are such a great writer!! love you!
The entire post was really good. I especially like these two parts, "promised the gift of joy" and " It's going to be good because I know the One who is incredibly good. He's a personal friend of mine." Keep up the super writing.
Thanks so much for your kind words. I love that you are reading my posts. Thanks for the encouragement.