Cory’s senior year, aka… the LONGEST year of my life, has simply flown by.
I know, I know. That’s an oxymoron, but it’s TRUE. And I know I’m not alone in feeling this way, as every mom would agree.
The days are long, but the years are short.
Cory and I have been through a lot together this year. God has used him in my life to undo a lot of STUFF in me that simply needed to GO. If I’m being honest, many times there was this thought in the back of my mind of how much Cory needs me, how lucky he is to have me as his mom.
That thinking has completely shifted to seeing how much I need Cory in my life, how absolutely lucky I am to have him, and how much God is using him to change ME. My eyes are wide-open to my pattern of living a life of guilt and guilt-based parenting.
Ugh! How binding!
I’m learning to speak LIFE, offer GRACE, hope, vision… a “you can do this” attitude, expecting the best rather than assuming the worst.
The theme woven throughout my blog posts this year has been RELEASE: Releasing clutter in every area.
Releasing this young man to grow up is currently my biggest challenge. I know I have to let go.
This baby boy is now a full-grown man.
It’s joyfully hard (again… oxymoron) and I am fighting fear and regrets.
Recently, as I made the turn onto our road, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. There, BURIED in a local favorite mud-hole was my son’s truck, with him COVERED in mud— laughing with a friend over the fun and now challenge of it all. Mind you, I had said to him the day before… and I quote… “Cory. Do not drive through the mud anymore.”
I realize how almost impossible it is for an 18-year-old, driving a truck with big tires on it, to pass up a fresh patch of mud. You just have to watch this short video and enjoy this accurate object lesson of life with Cory. (My favorite part is when he pulls his bumper out of the mud slush. Hah!)
I started to type up a list of how-to parent teens and release young adults, but it just seems so impersonal, like I’m an expert giving you a formula to follow. I’ve failed too much in this area to wrap it up with an unfeeling list. Instead, I’ll sum it up with this thought on navigating this time with all the craziness, off-roading-stuck-in-the-mud, wouldn’t-trade-a-moment-of-it life.
Are you ready?
This is somewhat profound:
Stuff happens and then we tow him out… helping him get back on the road, and off he goes.
It’s this imperfect balance of love, correction, grace, and discipline. It’s the toughest balancing act I’ve ever been a part of: Parent. Release. Parent. Release.
I wil fight to stay connected while simultaneously releasing my kids to adulthood.
NOT an oxymoron!