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…Again

(the story continued)

My appointment was scheduled for the next day.  The cancer had returned in only three short months.  My surgeon and I were a bit floored at how quickly things had turned.  It seemed like every time I was given a clean bill of health something would happen to put me right back on the medical treadmill.  It became this eerie feeling of when will the other shoe drop.  Since this whole thing started, I never had just plain old good news.  It was always followed-up with something else being found.

I hate to say it, but I was again reliving what had happened to my mom.  After her initial surgery the doctor had used the phrase, "You are considered cured."  That statement held true for only one year.  I had cringed when my physician delivered the exact same phrase following my hysterectomy.  I literally shuddered as he said, "You are considered cured."  I remember hoping and praying it was true.

The procedure went fine and all visible traces of cancer were removed… again.  A cat-scan was needed immediately. Unbeknownst to me a red flag had gone up on my previous scan concerning my colon.  My doctors had not reacted to it, deciding it was most likely scar tissue from surgery.  On the second CT scan the same thing occurred and it was determined I needed a colonoscopy.  No-one was really thinking it would be anything of significance, just wanted to be thorough and send me on my healthy way.

I struggled through the prep for the colonoscopy.  What a nightmare to drink the volumes of liquid required for the procedure to be effective.  At one point (okay, several points) Eddie had to get in my face and scream, "Drink it.  You really want to do this again because you didn't prep right? DRINK IT!"  It was so hard!

Well, the "other shoe dropped" … again.  Cancer had been found in my colon.  Unbelievable.  What was happening?  All the medical chatter of surgery and treatments began… again.  My excursion through the cancer world, it seemed, would continue.  I knew God would venture there with me… again.  Scriptures full of hope and promise would guide me.

Lamentations 3:22-24  "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I (Lori) say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him."      …Again.

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11 thoughts on “…Again”

  1. Lori, I hope you are planning to write a book! You are a very gifted writer and I am looking forward the next post… they are just not long enough. I'm not ready to be done reading about your "adventure". Even though I have heard your story, it blesses me to see it written and "hear" your heart!

  2. Oh Lori! I can't even imagine how scary this must've been to walk through….yet, you have done it all with such grace.
    I like the "send me on my healthy way" line! 😉
    LOVE your writing!

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